We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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