i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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