I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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