Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry pmoneyyy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

Fav 15 5042 1259
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....

Fav 28 6607 2343
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"

Fav 22 1668 3675
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.

Fav 18 4676 1569
share tweet
(808): View more from Hawaii

Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.

Fav 4 2925 1072
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out

Fav 32 2139 6313
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck

Fav 2 2646 690
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?

Fav 1 56 42
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"

Fav 0 32 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT