Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
