the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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