I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize