Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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