Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
