He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
