Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
