He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
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