dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
