he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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