I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
