Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
