the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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