I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
