doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
