I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
