Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
