Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
operation have a gay friend backfired
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
