Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
