this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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