now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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