It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
