I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
