May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Boobs speak an international language.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Randomize
