Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize