i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
