im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
