she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
