is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
