hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize