Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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