He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
