East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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