so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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