ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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