I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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