If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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