Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
