I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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