She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
