Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
that's an acceptable place to lick
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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