My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
