Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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