Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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