every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
