I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
