i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
