Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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