Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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