Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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