I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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