What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
