So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
