Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
