i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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