lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
