well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
