therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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