You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
