Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
