and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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