So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
