Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
