Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize