he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How external is "for external use only"?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
