Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize