why didn't you poke me back
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
